Writing Ray - Camp Nanowrimo Day 21

Feck damn today was hard.

As in- emotional train-wreck hard. As in- I just killed one of my characters and now I'm emotionally compromised hard.

I finally did it. I finished the DDS (Dramatic Death scene if you cba to look back a few days). I have avoided it and procrastinated my way through several reading books and my garden for two bloody weeks but it's now done.

And fuck was I a mess. I mean sobbing, snotty mess - my poor boyfriend was fretting all over the place because I was crying over my own damn fictional characters. I knew it was going to be bad writing this scene, but geez. Either all the authors I like have learnt how to detach themselves from their characters after a few books or they are seriously down-playing how emosh writing can get.

As Julie Kagawa likes to say "...Readers. Your tears feed my muse" well my bloody tears feed my characters so I better get some of them back!

I finally got on track with my Camp word goal, now on 10,700 words give or take a word. I can write less than 500 words a day now and hit my target on the 30th. But I probably will hit it early and maybe take it up again although perhaps not back to 20K - best not to push it too far and lose it right at the end.

With the completion of this scene my whole manuscript total goes up to 51,314 words which is pretty fucking epic if I do say so myself.

I'm probably gonna need a day to get over how much this scene messed me up and then there's the question of do I carry on with the last few scenes of the story or do I go back to the middle and write something nice and happy? I'd be tempted by the latter but since I'm feeling a tad masochistic right now I'll probably keep on trucking through the feels, tears be damned.

So that was my Monday, how y'all doing?
Ray